As a teen, I wondered what would make me more attractive to those around me. I knew I wouldn’t be the most beautiful or the most talented or even the most talkative (shocking, I know!), but I wanted to be someone who stood out. I struggled to feel important and even necessary at some points. I wondered why I struggled so much even as I believed in Christ – that should be the answer right? And He was, but I didn’t know what that looked like for me or to those around me.

The struggle was real.

Recently, I was given a book to read that really put those questions in perspective. Here I am 38 (gasp!) years old, and I still find myself struggling to be seen or to be attractive. So much for “it won’t matter when you’re older.” It matters. And even more so, it matters to all of us girls – young or old, ancient or adolescent. We all want to know we are contributing beauty to the world we live in and when we are gone will leave a void where our shining light used to be.

“Magnetic – Becoming the Girl He Wants” by Lynn Cowell ties all these thoughts together and provides a blueprint to help you get there. Sounds too good to be true?… Well, it depends on which “he” you want to get! Galatians 5:22-23 gives us a list of characteristics that will lead us directly to becoming a person of influence. They are called “Fruits of the Spirit” and each one of them are pleasing and attractive to those that are affected by them and infected with them. (Infections aren’t all that attractive but for the sake of poetic license just go with it.)

Cowell takes each fruit and defines what they mean translated into day to day life. It may be a book written for teen girls, but each issue addressed can carry over into the life of any woman struggling to be more. She gives practical advise to rethink how you deal with the world and circumstances around you and pushes it through the lens of the Holy Spirit, Who alone has the power to transform your mind and your life! The point is to establish a sweeter character by changing the way you act and react – whether it’s love and understanding that love is compassionate, or peace and bringing His peace to those around you, or self-control and taking reign over that little two edged sword the tongue! Ultimately, incorporating these characteristics affects the world around you, sets you apart as someone of grace, and this will make you stand out like a candlelight in a darkened room.

The beauty that Lynn tries to portray is this … You aren’t worthless or unlovely or unimportant, but as you live in the power of the Holy Spirit, He attracts the right people to you! This is important to teen girls as they desire to attract teen boys, but good boys that don’t need sex to spell out love or arm candy to parade around to his friends but sincerely desires to find a girl who loves him for him and who challenges him to be a better man and most of all recognizes and admires the character of Christ in her. Because if you have ever seen a magnet line up with other random metal objects, it is the magnet with equal or greater strength that is most powerfully attracted to the first!

I presently have an 11 year old girl and a 13 year old girl, and I will give them this book to read because it’s important. I want them to seek to be His not just be popular or the best. It is my heart that they will establish these characteristics into their own lives and not see it as so much a struggle but a challenge. I want them to gain the right attention and to be treated the right ways, and perhaps more importantly, I want to see them treat others the right way. I want them to know that they are enough and Christ in them makes them MAGNETIC!

Do your daughters, nieces, granddaughters or Goddaughters a favor and buy them this book! I assure you, as one who has a decade of experience ministering to broken hearts and hurting souls, you will be making an investment in their future.

Order yours here 🙂


Woman. Whoa Man!

I have to admit, I chuckled as I typed up the title for this blog, and really, without the grace of God…what I have to say wouldn’t make me laugh.

Today is International Women’s Day, and I find that empowering. Not in a rip your bras off and picket your rights kind of way, but in a way that says I’m not ashamed. See, for me that is HUGE. For most of my life I have hated my sexuality. I have hated being a woman and being seen as a piece of meat, as breasts with eyes, as a body. I have hated it because before I really had the chance to enjoy my womanhood, I had already been maligned. When you look at your body and think, “Would they treat me differently without this?” there has been some injury in your past. I am sad to say, that was me.

It wasn’t until I began to see the contributions that I could make as a woman that I began to embrace my sexuality. As a woman, I could bear a child. As a woman, I could then feed that child. And those things were huge…until I found out that I couldn’t anymore. Then I was left again with the question, “What good am I as a woman?” It was in a time of depression after a surprise hysterectomy and a painful mistake that God said, “This is why.” You see, I realized that in my womanhood I had a ministry that was unique. Only in my womanhood could I see and reach out to and empathize with teen girls. And, because I had dealt with my own sexual injury, I could speak Truth from a heart that knows to those that struggle with injuries like mine. And, I could look them in the eye and passionately proclaim, “You are His.”

But ministry wasn’t something I was eager to jump into, and honestly, I wasn’t exactly sure where to start. So I began to write. I created characters through which I could tell my story, teen girls in the modern age that could go through hell and find hope the same way I did – through Christ. I wanted to be raw and I wanted to be real and I wanted to say it in a way that might make proper ladies blush…not out of disrespect, but as a jolting wake up call to reality! I wanted to change the adage, “Life sucks and then you die,” to say something hopeful. I wanted to say, “Yeah, life can give you some messed up stuff, but ultimately what you choose from there makes the difference between living and existing.” And, luckily, from what I hear…my books are doing just that.

I’m a woman. I like chocolate and bubble baths and the perfect pair of heels. But, more than that. I’m His woman, created in Christ to do good works which He prepared in advance for me to do…and in that knowledge and Truth…I am not ashamed.