I have to admit, I chuckled as I typed up the title for this blog, and really, without the grace of God…what I have to say wouldn’t make me laugh.
Today is International Women’s Day, and I find that empowering. Not in a rip your bras off and picket your rights kind of way, but in a way that says I’m not ashamed. See, for me that is HUGE. For most of my life I have hated my sexuality. I have hated being a woman and being seen as a piece of meat, as breasts with eyes, as a body. I have hated it because before I really had the chance to enjoy my womanhood, I had already been maligned. When you look at your body and think, “Would they treat me differently without this?” there has been some injury in your past. I am sad to say, that was me.
It wasn’t until I began to see the contributions that I could make as a woman that I began to embrace my sexuality. As a woman, I could bear a child. As a woman, I could then feed that child. And those things were huge…until I found out that I couldn’t anymore. Then I was left again with the question, “What good am I as a woman?” It was in a time of depression after a surprise hysterectomy and a painful mistake that God said, “This is why.” You see, I realized that in my womanhood I had a ministry that was unique. Only in my womanhood could I see and reach out to and empathize with teen girls. And, because I had dealt with my own sexual injury, I could speak Truth from a heart that knows to those that struggle with injuries like mine. And, I could look them in the eye and passionately proclaim, “You are His.”
But ministry wasn’t something I was eager to jump into, and honestly, I wasn’t exactly sure where to start. So I began to write. I created characters through which I could tell my story, teen girls in the modern age that could go through hell and find hope the same way I did – through Christ. I wanted to be raw and I wanted to be real and I wanted to say it in a way that might make proper ladies blush…not out of disrespect, but as a jolting wake up call to reality! I wanted to change the adage, “Life sucks and then you die,” to say something hopeful. I wanted to say, “Yeah, life can give you some messed up stuff, but ultimately what you choose from there makes the difference between living and existing.” And, luckily, from what I hear…my books are doing just that.
I’m a woman. I like chocolate and bubble baths and the perfect pair of heels. But, more than that. I’m His woman, created in Christ to do good works which He prepared in advance for me to do…and in that knowledge and Truth…I am not ashamed.