I hate dreams.
Just at the point where I feel myself healing, I’ll have a dream, and it will throw me off again. And, I don’t know what to do with that.
Dreams are often defined as the thoughts in our subconscious that we play out in our sleep. Hmmm. So how do we take those thoughts captive? If I ever had a conscious thought of the scenarios that play out in my dreams, I would take them captive in Jesus name and get over it! But, I’m sleeping, completely unaware and I’m attacked. I don’t know what to do with that.
Let me elaborate, I’m not talking bad dreams, sinful dreams…(Though I wouldn’t know what to do with those either) but dreams that simply take me back to the very thing that I’m trying to heal from. In my day to day life, the life where I’m submitting, relinquishing and moving forward, I’m staying away from those thoughts. If they dare to creep up, I distract myself, subvert them, take them captive, but in my dreams they take me captive. Sigh.
And I wake up.
And I’m overwhelmed, distracted, and feel guilty all over again. Bleh. It’s not fair, and I can’t make sense of it, and the more I have these dreams the less I feel removed from my sin. What do I do with that?
Well, today, I’m taking a page from David. I’m talking to my soul and saying, “What’s wrong with you?! Put your hope in God!” I’m reminding myself that I can’t beat myself up for what I can’t control! I can’t condemn myself for what I can’t choose! I can’t let my thoughts completely screw up my day! I’m on vacation for Heavens sake! “Blog about it and move on!” So that’s what I did… (fingers crossed).
One thought on “Mr. Sandman, give me a break!”
Leslie. Dear, sweet Leslie. I understand your pain and confusion. I think that the reason I sleep so little is because I do not want to face the dreams that come. I wrote a blog today about being twisted and twisting others without even realizing it. We have ALL been twisted in some way, been used by the adversary to accomplish his goals. However, I am beginning to see that our dreams CAN be used as shields rather than swords the enemy uses to strike us with. The dreams we live can help us to confront and overcome our greatest fears concerning situations we do not wish to face when we are awake! I have begun to view my dreams as part of God’s time in fighting my battles without me, and I am simply a spectator in my own spirit, body, soul, and mind. Today is a New Day….Go make it one!