Leslie A Lamb/Sifted Wheat

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The Elected

Today is the day after the vote, and nothing has changed.

This doesn’t surprise me.

I was talking to God about this, and He reminded me of this verse:
“Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14)

God did not say:
“…If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and select them a new governmental leader to restore their land.”

And yet, that is what we believe. We believe that if we seek and pray He will appoint someone else to do the work. This has never been so, and will never be. The truth is we aren’t comfortable with the idea that He has appointed us. We often look for ways out of our appointments.

We are burdened for a need in our lives or in another’s and so we beg off prayer. Pray for me, pray for this, pray over them… I am guilty. This takes the responsibility off of us. This allows us to look to other things, when obviously God has called our attention to those things.

We are tired of abortion and the taking of innocent lives in heinous and barbaric ways. But, are we supporting organizations that vehemently oppose those acts and reach out instead to help the mother understand the value of the life she carries inside?

We hate to see the impoverished; in fact, so much so that we struggle to call them poor. We make comments about laziness and living off the government, but are we lending them a helping hand? Are we showing them theimportance of work and allowing them the opportunity to serve?

I could go on and on…this list could be never ending. But, I am not here to point out what’s wrong with us. I want us to see what is right with us! What God purposes us to do, regardless of who is in charge.

Isaiah 63:1-2 says: “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.”

That same Spirit that anointed Jesus is on His elect. We who are His are ambassadors, and as ambassadors we are chosen to continue the work that He started. That is good news!

As long as I have been praying and seeking God, this is what I have found – Prayer is the exercise of faith…the results are born in our hearts, out of that obedience. So as we pray we must remember that just as Christ declared as He took the stand before the people to announce His election, we too are called to do those same three things:

Bring good news to the poor – What is that good news? It is good news that the impoverished in Spirit don’t have to remain that way. Through Christ they are offered abundant life…That Christ’s economy isn’t based on the economy of man. That what they lack others have, and it is our responsibility to freely share.

Comfort the broken hearted – There are many of these, daily they grow. We aren’t called to stand on a soapbox and declare all the wrong things they’ve done to get there, we are called to sincerely comfort them, aid them in their suffering, and offer hope and life.

Proclaim freedom for the captives and release for the prisoners – We all can feel the chains or cage of some prison. Whether it is a literal holding cell or one of the mind and heart or the limitations of thebody. We all have the propensity to be captured by something. But, God says we have freedom through Christ! We must proclaim that.

Our circumstances may never change…in fact, they could get a lot worse. But, as Christians our election is sure! We know what we have been called to do and what it will take to heal our land…and it isn’t the promise of a Christ-friendly government. It is the promise of an abundant life in Christ…one that doesn’t look around for what we can get, but looks earnestly and urgently for what we can give.

The greatest empires always tumbled. The powers that be are now the powers that were. Nations have fallen, and wars have always been tragic. But, this election that we have isn’t about the “State of Affairs” it is about the affairs of the heart, it’s not a proclamation of the “State of the Union” but about the state of being unified. This is a Spiritual election that refuses to sit idly by and pray for others to do the work, but it is an anointing that says, “You are the one that I have chosen. Be my ambassador.”

In the end, it isn’t about who is elected. It is about what we elect to do.

Today is the day after the vote, and in my spirit, something is changing.

November 7, 2012
I am scared

I am scared.

That’s not an admission of guilt; it’s a transparent expression of fear.

I am scared of what I don’t know, what I can’t see, what I can’t quite put my fingers on, and what puts its hands around me.

I can utter a million reasons why I shouldn’t be. I can recite scripture after scripture of how God wouldn’t have me fear, doesn’t want me to fear, and begs me not to fear…and yet… I fear. Doesn’t mean I don’t trust Him, I do. But He knows I fear, and He has compassion on that fear, and gently guides my heart to peace.

I am fragile.

That’s not meaning I am weak; it’s means instead that I am vulnerable.

I am vulnerable to the emotions of others, to my own feelings, to the way that others see me, and the way I see myself.

I can hold a grip around my heart and beg it not to beat, not to bleed or feel the internal struggle and the worlds needs. I can remember His Word that says I am strong and brave and courageous and able to do anything through the power of His name. But, I’m fragile just the same.

I am small.

Though my frame is slight and my height petite, this is my humble reality.

I am too small to change the world by myself, to save any desperate soul, or to end any wrenching heartache.

I can’t even pretend I am more when I am not. I don’t expect to have the answers, to rescue anyone from any pain. I don’t imagine I can hold my ground with any giant that steps upon my land. Not in myself. In myself, I am merely small…merely human.

But when I commit my scared, fragile, small self into the hands of a powerful, strong, and mighty God, who I am ceases to matter. Who He is becomes my destiny! And I let the words of His character roll off of my tongue and slide down my heart and into my soul –

He is peace.
He is a strong tower.
He holds the universe in His hands.

And because of Him, I am.

October 31, 2012
The Road not taken

One of my favorite poems is “Road not taken” by Robert Frost. Let me share a taste:

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both.
But being one traveler, long I stood, and looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth.”

I smiled as I typed that. It was the first poem I ever memorized and recited. I fell in love with its cadence and simple language. I always felt it was substantial – That each line was poignant, and each stanza a choice. And somehow I knew I’d need it, to make my choices, to examine the roads that appeared, and to remember the outcome.

Every day is a fork in the road. Every day meets us with choices – what to do and what not to do? Only, many of us rush through, never taking the moment to ponder the outcome. We don’t see the choice. We see the obligation, and life becomes a chore rather than an adventure. It becomes a rat race instead of a walk. And we lose our joy.

Are you struggling with happiness, feeling useful, or like your life has meaning? Then I would ask you, do you see the fork in the road? Are you at odds with your family? Do you feel like you don’t know your kids? Does your spouse seem distant? Then, I would direct you to the roads. Sometimes the difference between life and death, happiness and depression, optimism and pessimism lies in one thing – the path we choose.

My aunt is an optimistic woman, loving and kind, open and giving. I can look at her life and be amazed. By the circumstances life handed her she had every excuse to be bitter and mean, distrustful and selfish, and entirely pessimistic. But, she chose to walk a path in direct opposition to her circumstances. Some of the family would think she was strange. But, I think she is beautiful. Has her life gotten any better or easier? No. In many ways it’s gotten harder, but has she lost her genuine smile, or stopped giving out makeup stain leaving hugs, or ceased praising her Father in Heaven? Not a chance!

We often hear of forks in the road, roads to travel, and we think that is about choosing our circumstances. Life isn’t that fair. We are often left to choose within the circumstances others make for us what road we will take.

In Deuteronomy God laid it on the line: “I’ve brought you today to the crossroads of Blessing and Curse.” (Deuteronomy 11:26 MSG)

There is the fork.

Here is what you need to know – what you choose affects not only you but everyone around you. See, unlike Frost’s poem.. We aren’t traveling alone. We bring with us family and friends, and they, too, have to bear the consequences of our choice.

Every day is a choice.
Every moment a decision.
Every decision a path.

And, the one we choose matters. If I’m in a bad mood, I must choose not to take it out on my kids And, if I do, i must choose to humble myself and ask forgiveness. If I’m not feeling well, I must choose not to become depressed. And, if I do, I must choose to forgive myself. If I am not happy, I must choose to find the source of happiness not dwell on its lack. If I am feeling useless, I must be intentional. If I feel unloved, I must make sure I am loving others, and I must remember that love is selfless.

“Road not taken” ends like this:

“I shall be telling this with a sigh, ages and ages hence. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

The final line of Frost’s poem has left literature majors the world over ponder, “So, was he happy with his decision?” I suppose that depends on the reader, and how we interpret our roads and our sighs. We can take away two endings – an ending with a sigh of contentment, of a path well traveled despite what forest of a life we had to walk through. Or an ending with a sigh of regret, of a path that didn’t lead where we had hoped, sitting bitter and disillusioned and alone.

I’m an optimist. I choose the sigh of contentment. I choose the ending that says regardless of where exactly that path dipped and bent and whatever bridge appeared, I walked it with hope and trusted it was the best road for me… Regardless of my circumstances.

Today is a new day.. And two roads diverge.. Which one will you travel? That will make all the difference.

October 1, 2012
Benchwarmers

I was a bench warmer.

I got a front row seat to every game. I had the vantage point of seeing the plays before they were called. I got to crowd-watch and get to know other players on other teams, mostly because I wasn’t a threat. I got to enjoy those moments with the coach when my teammates excelled, and I felt the burden of defeat along side of them. I handed them water bottles when they were exhausted and provided a body to lean against when they were weak. I didn’t feel slighted or second best. I was a bench warmer, and I enjoyed my role.

“Substitution!”

My blood went cold, and my heart leapt to my chest when I saw the coach jump up from his seat and signal. I watched the look on the players faces and heard the star player begging as she made her way to closer, “Don’t bench me, Coach! Don’t bench me! I got this!” While my voice trembled and echoed in a silent prayer, “Don’t bench her, Coach! Don’t bench her!”

But, the whistle was blown, the look was given, and as I squatted at the table so the statisticians could record my number, I lookedlongingly at my bench. Suddenly nothing felt right anymore. The plays that I had just seen drawn and imagined played suddenly became mine to call, and Icouldn’t remember them! The Coach was trying to get my attention, and I was commanding lunch to stay down. My feet felt heavy and the ball felt awkward and my ADD brain couldn’t handle the activity around me.

So there I was. Bracing myself. “Just get through this play, Leslie!” I begged. “Play and you can go back home!” I barely felt the ball, concentrating all my energies instead on not regurgitating, making sure I was still upright, and looking for some word of direction from my teammates. The flurry of activity was amazing, and voices I recognized screamed out, “Pass it to me, pass the ball!” I strategized and I maneuvered and watched in agony as the ball was snatched and launched in the wrong direction. All the while, trying not to look at the safety of my bench and the discouragement of the star player.

“Go!” the Coach signaled frantically, “Get the ball back!” Almost to the point of tears, I rushed after the opposing team. The missionimpossible theme was playing in my head. Only it wasn’t for me, it was against me. This back and forth went on for quite some time before my substitution ended in a mess of tangled shoelaces at center court. And finally, Praise God, the whistle blew!

I sat back on my bench, resisting the urge to rub it and lie down and cuddle. I was home. Finally. Doing what I did best, cheering and encouraging and watching. I barely even noticed the Coach put his head in his hand after he ushered the now rested star back on the court; I had finished!

Here is the thing about us: the star player and I. We both had practice. We both ran laps and did push ups and learned plays and did drills. Only, she pushed herself, and I merely cooperated, doing the minimum to get by. She wanted to excel and I merely wanted to be a part of the team. She wanted to win, and I just wanted to finish. Needless to say, it showed on the court.

I am a bench warmer.

And the danger of that is, I want to stay a bench warmer. It is far easier for me to watch the game and do what is comfortable than to ever take the court! It’s far easier for me to cheer others on than to hustle and sweat and actually play the game. I don’t want to be the star player, but I want her to win!

Life isn’t much different.

I still long for the comfort of a bench.

September 20, 2012
Touchable God

I remember the first time I heard about the intimacy of Christ. I was sitting in a pew in a tiny Southern Baptist Church at a revival no less. The preacher was talking and I was doodling until God pricked my ears. It was like I knew I needed to pay attention. I had missed the first part of the story, something about a man and he was “simple” and he had been invited to stay at the pastor’s home…but it was this part that changed my life forever:

“It wasn’t long after we had headed off to bed, and my wife and I heard commotion coming from the guest room. Our guest was obviously talking to himself, and periodically we would hear the furniture move. My wife was nervous and asked me to check things out. As I got closer to the door, it sounded like the man was in an argument with himself. Literally fighting. Icould hear him on the floor moving around, and the more I lessoned the more I wondered at this man I had invited into our home. Hearing a chair fall and what I wasn’t sure was either laughter or groaning, I resolved that he must surely be mad. With gusto I opened the door prepared for whatever I might see, but this…this large, tall, full grown older man, curled up in a ball, laughing uncontrollably. I just stared for a minute until he said, “I’m sorry, did we bother you?” I looked around – “we” was there someone else there? He picked himself up and righted the chair and said, “Jesus and I were wrestling, and he pinned me.”

Honestly, I have no clue what else the pastor said, how he addressed that situation, or how it ended. I watched other people’s faces. Their awe and disbelief, and the few that muttered, “Bless his simple heart.” And everyone laughed. But I wasn’t buying it. I loved that story. In fact, it thrilled me! To know that I had a Savior that would not only take my sin upon Himself so that I might live but would also wrestle a grown man to laughter?! This was beautiful. I wrapped my thirteen year old heart around that nugget and treasured it as Truth – God was not only loving, but He was touchable.

I need a touchable God. If we are honest, we all do. But it’s strange, isn’t it? People who feel Him and wrestle with Him and dance with Him are strange. Ahhh. The blessing of the simple. It is in simplicity that God meets us. I love His word that says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” We see because we believe. We believe because we know, and we know because we Trust.

He is touchable.

Where do you need Him to touch you? Now is not the time to be shy or ashamed. Now is the time to look for Daddy God in the place you need Him most. Where is that place? Let go of all preconceived notions and every “appropriate interaction.” Cast aside all fear of what others think and get real with God. Only you know what that looks like. It could be a wrestle, it could be a kiss, it could be a duet, it could be a dance, it could be ANY activity that frees your heart before Daddy God and feels His love and His willingness. Bear witness to that Truth, hide it in your heart and feel it for yourself – God not only loves us, but He is very touchable.

We just have to let go and reach out.

August 29, 2012
Selfless Challenge – Week One

Any time you take up a challenge to reflect more of the heart and love of God, the enemy rushes in with arrow pointed, ready to aim. The very day I issued that challenge to myself, was possibly one of the hardest days I have had in a long time. I was physically ill and emotionally drained and no matter what help I needed from those around me, I wasn’t getting it. Their actions seemed to say. “You don’t matter.”

I refused to have a pity party because after all that would be selfish…and I was doing my best to keep from that. But, I talked to God a lot, asking how I might turn my feelings around into something selfless for someone else. Only, my motivation seemed more out of spite than love, and thus, the wicked cycle of selfishness hit my heavy heart again. I cried out to Him, “This is hard!”

And, I realized. It isn’t for Him. He is in His very nature selfless love. For Him to give it all for us is His joy not His challenge. The challenge resided in my flesh not my spirit. I had to control my flesh. Not an easy thing to do. In fact, it’s a very hard thing to do. But, He was there…selflessly loving me through each step of painful reflection.

We are selfish.

It’s killing us.

Our families.

Our marriages.

The root of every divide lies in the “me first” mentality. And we might see this, maybe silently admit this to ourselves…but we don’t change it. Honestly? – Because we don’t want to. We say “I love you..” but what remains unspoken is “..when you do this… while you act like that…because I need something… that’s what I’m supposed to say… if I’m happy.”

I have always hated the saying “You wanna have your cake and eat it, too!” Well heck yeah…how are we gonna enjoy it if we don’t eat it!? But when we love selfishly it’s a pathetic picture…(You English buffs will relate) It’s Miss Haversham in her molded wedding dress sitting at a lavishly spoiled wedding table. The feast is there…but in our desire to please our selves and what we want, we guard it and mourn it at times, but never eat it. Love lived selflessly doesn’t sit at that table, but stands behind it offering slice after slice and taking a bite here and there, smearing your cheeks with icing and offering extra servings. And guess what…? Love like that doesn’t run out, and it doesn’t feel like a chore and it doesn’t drain you. In fact, it fills you as you fill others.

I guess the challenge in selflessness this week has become, “True love can’t be selfish.” By definition it is not. So how do we show true love? What does that look like? I’ve gotten some glimpses. How about you?

August 27, 2012
Selfish reflections on selflessness

I woke up to selfishness. Of course in a house with kids that is pretty normal, but today it hit me hard. Little signs of selfishness litter my life, and were personified in scowls and frowns and words of disgust and hatred. From not being woken up for my oldest daughter’s first day of school simply because playing on the phone was more appealing to my husband, to having to fight the 4 year old to get in his clothes off and on again, to threatening the 9 year old because she didn’t want to leave the TV. And I realized, even in my silent acknowledgements of their “failures” I was selfish, too.

I’m tired. Not in a complaining, poor pitiful me way, but in a way that says, “By golly (because I totally use that phrase), this is not okay!” – not for me, not for us, not for the world. Jesus was not about being selfish. Everything He did was selfless. He is my example.

I have friends that hurt me. Their selfishness hurts me. They don’t have time to talk or send more than a two word text (or Lord help me a two letter text!). They think nothing of complaining to me, and when I try and encourage them, it’s not enough… It’s too personal. Or, when I try and reach out myself, they are too busy, or not interested, or just don’t really care. That’s the hard truth. But in my offense I am being selfish, because if I were truly thinking about them, and their needs ahead of my own, then it shouldn’t matter. But it does.

This isn’t a pity party. This is an honest look at what selfishness has done and what it looks like to me. And I am super guilty. In my devotion time these words penetrated my heart, “selfless faith.”

Selfless – having little or no concern for oneself, especially with regard to fame, position, money, etc.; unselfish.

This is where my heart hurts. This is where I am most guilty. My life often looks selfish; how often does my faith look like that? How often do I live in the joy of Christ and focusing on those He has placed in my life when it doesn’t somehow come back around to me? Well, I know we do good deeds.. I’ve done a few, but why? What’s my motive? Don’t ask that unless you are ready… Because the truth was painful to swallow, like a horse pill after you’ve put a teaspoon of cinnamon in your mouth (BTW – don’t try that). I mostly do good to make myself feel better. To make others like me. So that my Daddy God looks at me and says, “Well done.” To ensure that mansion next to Francis Chan just past the pearly gates. Selfish. Pure and simple. My faith and everything I do is about me, ultimately.

A worship song that I love says “I see a generation rising up to take their place, with selfless faith.” How can they do that? What example are we setting? Do we even know what a selfless day looks like, much less a selfless faith filled generation? I was pondering that… And my role to help lead this generation through this chaotic and not so charmed life… And I decided, it starts with me.

It would be a joke to say from this moment forward I’m not gonna be selfish. But I can challenge myself to live a selfless 6 hours, then a selfless 12 hours and so on and so forth. You think I’m being too easy on myself? You try it. In fact, I challenge you in just this ONE hour to do everything out of selfless ambition. If you make it.. Push it to 2.. That’s what I’m gonna do. In fact, it starts tomorrow for me, in earnest. And I’m gonna keep a journal. If you see me, challenge me. Ask me how I’m doing. This is serious. And it should be. We have a world to change, to inspire, and to encourage for Christ… And, lets be honest, our selfishness isn’t really working.

August 21, 2012
Nature Calls

“From the beginning of the world, men could see what God is like through the things He has made. This shows His power that lasts forever. It shows that He is God.”

God delights to show His love for us.

I marvel over little things. I like to sit for long spells and watch nature, the hues of butterflies and dragonflies, the many facets of a bird’s wing, and the slow creeping of a secure turtle. As I watch them I am reminded of my Creator…of the intricate way that He has designed me, of the many facets of His personality that make up my nature, and in Him I can keep moving, knowing that I am His.

When I fail to take these moments, I can miss His messages of love.

We try not to be selfish. We try not to want to feel good, happy, comforted, or secure. We know for the most part that others are going through far worse and have experienced the unthinkable. We are constantly reminded of wars and rumors of war whether in the world or in homes or dear precious bodies. The darkness of the world slaps us in the face day after day after day after day. But, is it wrong to seek those moments for our selves? Is it selfish to need to be reminded that He cares?

God created us to seek Him.

When we seek Him we cannot help but look within. It’s when we look within that we see the many places we are lacking. We realize with infinite reality that we can’t change our circumstances, but we can change our attitude. And, when we find ourselves there, seeking Him, conversing with Him over the marvels of nature, we realize that what moments before might have seemed the biggest most depressing acknowledgement in the world, is actually one of peace.

He didn’t create us for ourselves.

Just the fact that we draw in breath day after day is evidence of our life’s purpose. No one is here by accident. Recently a friend of mine had triplets far too early. All three babies were delivered, but one lived only for a while. We might be tempted to get upset. What was the purpose of that, God? That life was in vain. But, we would be wrong. The reason thelittle guy died is because he was subjected to toxins and bacteria that his brother and sister were not. He kept them safe by blocking the birth canal, taking the sickness into himself to spare his siblings. They are alive and thriving today. His little life had great purpose for them!

He loves us.

We can’t neglect this all-important fact. As much as you love the person/thing that you love the most and cannot fathom what it would feel like to love more…multiply that by infinity…and that’s but a fraction of how much God loves us. Can’t fathom that? Nope. But, it’s true. His Word tells us that His love “endures forever.” Endure is pretty intense word. It means that it doesn’t give up. It means that it tolerates anything. It means that it stands firm in the midst of any adversity. And it means that it is on going!

He is for us.

I’m not trying to stroke your ego or mine. But, as I was listening to the heart of God this morning in my own very hurting heart, Hespoke this to me. “I am for you.” We gloss over this. We take this lightly. That, too, has deep meaning! He is for us means more than that He will fight for us. It means that He “takes the place of, works on behalf of, in respect of, concerning, and in spite of,” us. Let that sink in. Because sometimes we need to know that He fights for us, but more often than not we just need toknow that He is for us…and He is…remember His love?

Every time I take the time to look at nature, I see Him…and I see what I need to be more like. I also wonder what they know, these creatures that seem to have the simplest lives? Do they know that they have a Creator? Do they know that we can see evidence of Him through them? Do theyknow that as they simply flutter by our hair or squirm on the ground, we hear our Father whisper His love? I think they do. I also believe that He created them not just for His good pleasure but because in His enduring love, He purposed them for us…to remind us…we have purpose, too.

July 31, 2012
I follow Jesus not Dan Cathy

I’m most likely gonna lose friends and followers, but I’m okay with that. Really. I’m not here to be popular. I think it’s important to speak, irregardless of backlash. We need to think about what we are doing.

In the last two weeks Christians have been in an uproar. First it was the tragedy in Colorado, and now it is the great Chick-fil-A ban of 2012. What is happening to us? I only ask because I’m concerned. I’m concerned that we are more eager and energetic to spread an agenda than to spread the Good News.

While people are still struggling with PTSD and packing up memories of precious loved ones, we feel the need to reiterate our “right” to bear arms. We have made their tragedy into a call for arms? Really? How is that fair? How does that matter? How is that helping those left picking up the pieces after we’ve commented and tweeted it to death? If we spent more energy on our knees and interceding not for our safety and rights but for their pain and healing and eternal hope in Christ, we might actually be answering our call, fulfilling the great commission, sharing love not debating fire arms.

Wait.

I’m not finished.

Which leads me to the Chick-fil-A Ban… I am APPALLED at some of things I have seen Christians post about how this ban has made the restaurant cleaner and safer and a more friendly environment since the liberals are gone. What?! What are we doing?! Have we become so obsessed with our agendas that we have lost our hearts for the lost?! I’m not saying all liberals are lost, but posts like that imply it.. They also imply that unbelievers are dirty, filthy, intruders and we should rid ourselves of them. Hmmm. Who is intolerant now? I wonder if we spent as much time feeding the hungry and homeless as we have pushing this fast food establishment we might reconnect with what Jesus came to do?

Here is the hard truth (or rather two of them):
1. Jesus would not have carried a gun and wouldn’t have encouraged the disciples to fight to keep theirs. In fact, the one time we see warfare face to face with our Savior, He scolds the sword wielder and replaces a man’s ear.

2. Jesus would not eat at Chick-fil-A unless He had been invited for some nuggets and waffle fries while speaking to a few thousand people about how none of that is important.
This is the same Lord that said “Give unto Caesar what is Caesars” and “Man shall not live by (breaded chicken) alone” (okay.. He didn’t say that, but you get my point.)

Yes. The world is an icky place. Yes. We are doing somethings He would not condone. Yes. We are at the mercy of free will everyday. That’s why He made the statement,“In this world you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world!” We are overcomers.. THROUGH CHRIST. Our agendas are merely preferences… They are our security in a fallen world. But, when we cling so tightly to our securities that we abandon the lost, we have missed His point! We can fight until our voices are gone and every last one of us is dead, but what are we fighting for? Who are we fighting for and who are we fighting against? The upstanding role of our religion, or the broken heart of Daddy God?

Who do we follow -Jesus or Dan Cathy or anyone else we pin up as a poster child for religious agenda?What is more important – Our rights or His sacrifice? What is more Courageous – to make a world that we are comfortable in or to love unconditionally in an uncomfortable world?

I can’t answer for you, but I’m speaking love instead of debate. I’m not jumping on a bandwagon just because I see a cross. I’m trusting in Jesus and I’m letting my light shine, and if I get gunned down for it, well, somebody fought for that.

July 29, 2012
Untangled

The other day I woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. Laundry was piled in all corners, stacks of miscellaneous items littered the house, and dust a mile high (a slight exaggeration) coated my fan blades. I put my head under my pillow and tried to hide. Too much. It’s too much. I was completely overwhelmed.

In my attempt to hide, God spoke to me. “Clean your house.” I know that could have been my conscience, after all, I wanted to be lazy, but it was the words that followed that made me sure of the Source. “You’re life right now represents your house. Clean up the physical world, and it will straighten the spiritual.” I know that sounds weird. It sounds like something hokey that someone would say as they faded in and out on a cloud of reality and dreams, but I felt it. Deeply. And despite my weakness and absolute dislike of the task at hand, I got up with resolve to clean my house.

I started with laundry, the least daunting of the tasks before me. I enlisted the girls to help. If we each did our part we could have it done in no time. The kitchen was looking better, the living room was straightened, and Lily’s room was tidy and neat (there are indeed perks to having a child who is slightly OCD). Then, I walked to Maddie’s room. She was on her bed, listening to her iPod. Nothing had changed.

Resisting the urge to scream, I told her to get up and clean and that she wasn’t going to be able to leave her room until it was done! She didn’t like that idea, and in a huff and true preteen attitude, she swept her arm across the top of her counter and watched it fall to the floor. I gasped! Then I watched as she got down on her hands and knees and started sorting through her stuff, finding a place for each and every item. Her method didn’t make sense but the result was the same.

She had a pile in the corner that she reserved as “trash.” I was relocating it to a trash bag when I found a wadded up mess of jewelry. Costume jewelry. I looked at it and considered throwing it away. It had little to no value, and I doubted I could make sense of it. It was overwhelming tolook at much less to consider unraveling. But, at the point I was going to toss it, I heard His voice again, “Overwhelming? Worthless? Take the time to unravel it.” I knew it would take time. I was on a mission to clean and this was going to take precious time that honestly I didn’t have. But He beckoned.

Resolved, I sat on the floor, Maddie having left and taken up playing with her sister and friends, and began to inspect the lump of chains. Slowly but surely the mess began to make sense. I figured out that it was an entanglement of four necklaces and a bracelet. In the stillness, I found it a challenge to find exactly how each chain made it’s way around the other. And, as each kink released and the wad looked more like a tangle, I felt a sense of accomplishment. It took a full thirty minutes to have each chain unworked and set aside. At the end of that time, I smiled. The time had been worth the work, but where was the reward? Not that I needed one. Those minutes had been spent working out my own tangles, thinking through my relationships and ministry issues and finding peace in the midst of it all.

I heard His voice, and paid attention to the pictures He showed me, and it became clear that all too often we are ready to be rid of the mess. It seems to us far easier to throw it away when it doesn’t fit just right. We base the value of something on itseffectiveness to us, and if it isn’t working then it’s lost its value. Sometimes the work seems too much for the results we are seeing, so we are tempted in our discouragement to let it go. We give up. We want to find another easier, more simple calling or relationship that doesn’t require as much of us. When we can’t see the outcome and all we see is the lump it doesn’t feel as important to us. But, it is important to Him.

My story isn’t over yet. My lesson wasn’t complete until a few minutes later, I had moved onto something else (cleaning up my jewelry box actually), when Maddie came into her room and saw the necklaces. “Mom! I’ve been looking for those forever!” She lit up and I resisted the urge to tell her that she almost threw them away. As she walked off singing some melody, I heard His voice again, “Don’t give up…what you are untangling is the very thing you are looking for…and I promise the joy she feels right now is nothing compared to the joy that is coming.”

I don’t know what that means. But I believe it was His voice, and I know exactly what He is talking about. It would be easy at times to throw in the towel. To simply be and do and not worry about everything else, but that isn’t what I’m here for…and I refuse.

July 20, 2012